i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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