found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
