i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
she peed on how many people?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
