were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize
