This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
