I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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