Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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