Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
