If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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