.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
