either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
