marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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