I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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