is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
