Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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