4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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