You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
