ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
