Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize