I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
