I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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