shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize