I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it hurts more in the daytime
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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