So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
