So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
