Im at strip club and am horny
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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