Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
