Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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