He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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