party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
