Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
