I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
