when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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