**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
