Moan for me like Helen Keller
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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