GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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