don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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