I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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