Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
