Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
