Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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