whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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