I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
