okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
