They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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