your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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