you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
