Sponge bath it is.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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