i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
