i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
