I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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