Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
As shirtless as possible
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
