I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
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I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
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After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Fuck me I smell like cheese