Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
what food is Colorado known for?