He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
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I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
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maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard