We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day