Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.