NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.