put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts