You really coming over, don't trick.
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
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I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
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You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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