You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
