Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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