My nipple is on Facebook.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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