just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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