her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
