: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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