proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Girls should come with a carfax report
my being single is dangerous.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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