I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
